Carla’s Loving Day Story

Posted on June 23, 2020

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Guest Post by Carla Ayers (originally posted on Facebook, re-posted by permission)

Debi and Carl met in LA. My mom a single mom. Petite and sweet. My dad was a giant, Black, boisterous person with a chip on his shoulder.

But they found some common ground. It was not ideal, but its all I’ve ever known.

In California it was bright. There was sun. There were poor people. There were rich people. There was enough diversity that made our situation apart of the tapestry of crazy.

We moved to Michigan while I was in elementary school–to Adrian, Michigan.

Moving to Adrian felt like the color was drained from my life.

I was normally the only “Black kid” in the class.

Every. Day.

You’re not black.
You sound white.
Where are your real parents?
What’s black and white and red all over? …Carla’s parents in a car accident.

I didn’t go to sleep-overs. No one was allowed to stay at my house.

High School was awful. Hated it. Don’t recommend.

Of course I was the maid in the high school play. My friend, Steve, played the driver and had a line with something about pickled pigs feet. We did our best, but that shit was awkward!

My husband is Black. Our marriage is interracial. His Black experience is one of a large- framed Black man in America. His family is African American. On paper and each one darker than a paper bag.

My experience was different with each parent.

With my mom, a Hudson judge said, “I have some black kids that call me poppa at church. It’s nice what you’re doing.”

With my dad, we were driving down Sand Creek Highway when a car passed us and the driver yelled “nigger” while laughing. My dad chased the truck, removed the gentleman from the truck, and beat him. He cried in the car speeding home.

I think my dad felt bad for assaulting someone, of course. But I think it hurt worse that another grown man not only felt he was less than but said so in front of me.

I am a pacifist. I’ve never seen an instance where violence or hate has driven progress.

I think of my next generation and laugh all the way to the diversity bank!

Keep mixing ’em up kids. You are the solution. Thanks Lil Debi and Big C.

That’s my Loving Day story.

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Carla Ayers is a real estate agent in southeast Michigan with a passion for marketing and economic development.


Related Links

1996 Mr. & Mrs Loving (film)

The Loving Story & The Loving Story Study Guide from Teaching Tolerance

Loving v. VA Listen to Oral Arguments

Listen To 6 Stunning Moments From Loving V. Virginia

Government regulation of marriage and sex didn’t start with anti-miscegenation laws or end with Loving. Melissa Murray — an expert in family law, constitutional law, and reproductive rights and justice at the New York University School of Law–explains.

Loving Day @ Zinn History Project

The Loving Project

Listen to Stories the Celebrate LOVE on Storycorps


lisa eddy is a writer, researcher, educator, advocate,  musician, and gardener.

On Twitter: @lisa_eddy

On email: lisagay.eddy1@gmail.com