Carbonetics: My New Religion

Posted on October 15, 2020

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for Freethinkers, Atheists, and Unbelievers everywhere

When I taught high school Mythology, I began with creation myths from our ancient human ancient ancestors in Africa, Egypt, Greece, Babylon, Northern Europe, Finland, Australia, the Levant, & the Americas (Aztec, Potawatomi, Lakota, Hopi).

As we read, viewed, or listened to each story, we identified the creators; the creating processes; the plants, animals, and land features specific to the part of earth where the myth originated; and the cultural values that the story conveys.

I must hold the record for the number of deities I have introduced students to–without requiring the worship of any–because I taught from a secular perspective in a public high school, where all people are welcome, and all ideas are fair game for civil discourse.

But in 2019, I had my Scopes Trial moment, when I realized that the “P” in APS had come to mean “Parochial,” not “Public,” when I was directed to refrain from discussing the conflicting religious beliefs that played a role in the Protestant Reformation.

Who knew that news from the 16th century could be so controversial in the 21st?!?


But it’s a new day! I see the light!

I realize now that the haters were right!

Down with secularism!

I’ve been reborn–as a devoted Carbonite!


I’m through with atheism; I’m starting a religion! Join me!

The Creator Element: Carbon

The Creating Process:

The Most Astounding Fact by NDT

Are you REALLY a Carbon Based Life Form?

The Story of Life Through Photographs

Plants, animals, and land features specific to the part of earth where the myth originates: The Pale Blue Dot by Carl Sagan

Which cultural values do these Carbonetic stories convey?

“Our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another–and to preserve and cherish the pale, blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”


If you embrace and enjoy the idea that we’re all Carbon-based life forms and the values expressed in our creation stories, you can join me and become a Carbonite!

And there you have it: Welcome to the new religion: Carbonetics!

And yet: No gods! No masters!

Oh, I wonder if what I’m feeling is anything like what Joseph Smith or L. Ron Hubbard, or 1st Century Jews and Romans, Martin Luther, or even–John Oliver felt like!?! What a world! What a world!


Let’s remember: If one worships one deity, they are also an atheist regarding the thousands of other deities, many who claim to be “the ONE, TRUE” deity, in stories about them. One cannot be alive on earth without also lacking belief in one or more gods, goddesses, or other supernatural characters.

It’s time to erase the stigma around the words that describe humans that lack belief in supernatural claims. Humans who lack belief are fully human and deserve to be treated as such, not demonized, dehumanized, feared, smeared, threatened, harassed, bullied, or attacked, no matter what ideas they think or say. A mind that is absent of religious inclination is not committing thought-crimes; it simply operates differently from minds that engage with religious ideas.


In Related Atheist News

The Catholic Church Just Destroyed Itself with Logic

Jehovah’s Witnesses and Dinosaurs (10 Silly Claims They’ve Made)

Why Mormons Made the Best Nazis


lisa eddy is a writer-for-hire, researcher, educator-for-hire, youth advocate,  musician, gardener,

Exvangelical, new Carbonite convert, and old, out-of-the-closet ATHEIST.

On Twitter: @lisa_eddy
On email: lisagay.eddy1@gmail.com